And then I realized: Those are just fleeting whims. This is what I really, really, really want:
1. When I say, "deal with it"- I want the person I am talking to to actually deal with it.
Ben comes home from work and I say, "I am too tired to make dinner. Deal with it!"
Ben answers: "I completely understand- you work so hard all day long. You deserve a break. And besides, I have a chicken parmesan recipe I have just been dying to make!"
Audra says, "please come play."
I say, "Mommy is tired. Deal with it."
Audra says, "You do seem a little tired. I am sorry to have bothered you. I will go downstairs and play quietly and safely for 90 minutes while you go upstairs and take a nap. Oh, and I love you!"
2. I want a standing ovation every time I clean the toilet
3. I want Ben to come home and say, "I'm not hungry tonight. Let's just skip dinner." (I don't know about you, but my family likes to eat dinner every night- it is so annoying!)
4. I want a stunt double to change all poopy diapers, clean up all vomit, and give me a nice massage from time to time.
5. I want to be able to type an entire blog post with BOTH hands.
6. I want Fruit Roll-ups to actually have FRUIT in them, not just "corn syrup" and "dried corn syrup" (yes, those are both printed on the box).
7. I want Audra's poopy diapers to smell like roses
8. I want to take a nice, long hot bubble bath without the water heater going out or a screaming child interrupting my relaxation
9. I want to understand what is going on with Lost
10. I want to lose 20 pounds without doing anything annoying like exercising or dieting
Is this too much to ask???