Great Deal This Week

I got all this...

for .99! I'm a stay-at-home-mom, guys- sometimes

I have to brag about the small stuff! Some peoples' thrills come from

dining with royalty or earning huge bonus' at work,

but not me- mine come from getting a bargain!

CSA

Some of you have asked about our CSA, so I thought I would put a little information about ours on here.
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Basically, a CSA is a local farm which you invest in and reap the benefits of. Whatever is grown, you get a portion of. Everything is organic and local- thus making for healthier food and a better situation for the environment.
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We decided to join because we wanted to support our local farms and economy, not get our produce from Mexico or Chile or somewhere else where there are no regulations in regards to pesticides, and we loved the idea of being invested in local produce. Cost-wise it is about the same as what I am currently spending- maybe 2 or 3 dollars more a week, but not much at all.
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The food is delivered to one central neighborhood area each week. You simply go and pick up the food and enjoy the benefits of the whatever the crop has yielded!
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It is also nice because they send out a weekly e-mail giving updates on what is happening on the farm, as well as recipes for how to use the food they gave you that week. You can go and visit the farm if you want, though it is located a couple hours away from us so we probably won't this year. It is very family friendly.
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Here is part of an e-mail they just sent out:
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Every member of a veggie share is equal to about HALF a pallet of veggies being taken off the road annually from being sent out of state, and instead have placed them into your homes for you, your friends and family. You have been responsible for keeping Colorado produce in Colorado. Too many Colorado farms have to look outside of their home state to find homes for their hard work, due to so much produce coming in daily from California and Mexico. The survival of all farms is to rethink our buying habits as a whole, to sever the cord to grocery stores and the consolidation it promotes and look directly to the farm and the people actually growing the food we eat.

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Anyway, if you are interested in joining, click HERE for more information. Or, you can e-mail me:)

A Tale of Two Movies

In the last couple of weeks Ben and I have seen two excellent movies:

I thought both of these movies were excellent, though I did find The Blind Side more compelling. Whereas Julie and Julia had great stories, The Blind Side had a great message. So, I guess I liked The Blind Side better.

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But that is not really what I want to write about.

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What I want to write about is this: Sandra vs. Meryl.

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First off, I LOVE Sandra Bullock. I think she is as cute as can be, she has a fantastic public image of simply being a nice, good person. I also like almost all of her movies (minus Forces of Nature- that was awful).

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I am not, in general, a Meryl Streep fan. It's not that I don't like her, it's just that I haven't seen a lot of movies that she has done, and I don't have a sense of her personality at all because I don't think I have ever seen an interview of her. So I wouldn't call me a fan, but I don't not like her either.

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But- in comparing the acting of these two women in these two movies, I am amazed that it was Sandra that walked away with the Oscar and not Meryl.

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Not that Sandra wasn't great, because she was. I just think Meryl (I am on a first name basis with both these actresses) was SO MUCH BETTER.

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The reason, for me, is simple: the role of Leigh Anne Tuohy was, for me, a much easier role than Julia Child. While both were/are real people, nobody outside of Tennessee had ever heard of Leigh Anne Tuohy, whereas EVERYBODY knows who Julia Child was. Meryl Streep had to get her exactly right- and she did! She was a PERFECT Julia Child- which could not have been a small feat due to Child's eccentric but loving personality.

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Also, there was one scene in Juie and Julia that truly convinced me it was Meryl, not Sandra, who deserved the Oscar. Julia and her husband Paul were walking through a park in Paris when a woman pushing a baby carriage walks by. By one look- in 5 seconds- we see a look from Julia that reveals all the tears, all the turmoil, all the heartache she has felt in her life by not being able to have children. Then in that same 5 seconds, we see how she was able to keep going: her husband Paul- who is her true companion- giving her a sympathetic and loving kiss on the foreheard, and Julia turns to him, accepts the kiss, gives a smile and continues on.

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The scene was one of the most beautiful and telling scenes I have ever seen. How all of that can happen in 5 seconds is pure art, and put me in Meryl's corner.

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I am not upset that Meryl did not win, and I am genuinely very happy for Sandra- especially because of all the other drama Sandra has had to deal with, I am glad she got the Oscar. I just think Meryl deserved it more.

#1 Dad

It's Father's Day- the day to brag about our husbands and fathers and how great they are. I will not disappoint.
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Listening to the radio on Friday, I heard the DJ ask the audience if they thought their significant other would be a good dad, but then once he became a dad they just didn't measure up- they weren't the dad the spouse hoped for. First off, I thought it was a horrible question, and I changed the channel because I didn't want to hear people calling in ragging on their spouse for everybody to hear.
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Secondly, though, it did get me thinking about Ben and how grateful I am that he is the father of my children. That was an exceptional decision on my part.
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Honestly, I wasn't sure how Ben would be as a dad. Before Audra, he had never held a baby- no, wait, I take that back. While dating I took him to Seattle where he got to meet my family. My sister had just had a baby and I was holding her. I had to get up to help Melissa with something, so I said, "here, Ben" and handed him the baby. He held her with his arms outstretched and a look that said, "What am I supposed to do, please take this baby away from me!" So he had held a baby once before Audra, but it did not go so well.
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But from the second Audra was born, he has grown and become the best dad these girls could hope for- and I am not just saying that. You all know I would tell the truth! He would be so nervous about hurting Audra when she was a baby- he was scared to change her clothes because he thought he would break her. One time, her thumb got stuck in the shirt as he was trying to pull her hand through the sleeve, and he fretted for hours thinking he broke her thumb. Hours later she would start crying and he would say, "is it her thumb? Is it broken?"
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There was a long stage where Audra would want to play "house" with daddy the second he walked through the door until dinner was ready. For months, if you came to our house at 5:30 PM you would see Ben on the floor pretending to be the Mommy, Daddy, Baby or Grandpa- entertaining Audra. Audra LOVED this game, and Ben would humor her because he is such a great dad.
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Now he has two girls, and even though Claire is a mommy's girl, she sure does love her daddy as well. When he comes home from work, she crawls super fast to the door and cries if he doesn't pick her up right away.
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I have said this before, but so often I hear people say, "my family is first" but then they go play golf all day on Saturdays, they do nothing but watch sports in the evening, and they come home from work too "tired" to play with their children. This is absolutely not the case with Ben. When he says, "my family is first" he really means it- and he shows it by his actions on a daily basis. Everything he does is with keeping his family in mind and how he can spend the best quality and quantity time with us. We are truly blessed to have Ben!!!!
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Here are Daddy and Claire at the park- I love this picture of them.


















And here are Ben and Audra yesterday as they prepared to go on their first Daddy-Daughter date:


























We got some free tickets for Toy Story 3 so Ben took Audra to her first movie at the theatre. Can you tell Audra is excited to go? She didn't want to put the tickets down- it was really cute. She said she had a good time even though the movie was "yucky." Ben said she loved the popcorn. I just love that Ben wants to do dates with the girls. He just loves being a dad, and he is such a wonderful dad.
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I feel like I got a 2 for 1 deal- I dreamed of meeting the perfect husband, and I got that. And I got a perfect daddy for my girls as well. What a great deal!

Already Trying To Trick Mommy

Everyday, Audra pulls pretty much every article of clothing out of her drawers- both right when she wakes up and when she is "napping." Pretty much every day, we pick her clothes up- though to be perfectly honest, sometimes I just let it go because I am sick of cleaning them up again, and again, and again.

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Today I put Audra in her room to play while I took a shower. As usual, clothes were everywhere, so I said, "why don't you pick up your clothes?" She said, "no, I don't want to." My response: "That's fine, but before Claire wakes up from her nap we need to pick up your clothes."

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After my shower, I went into her bedroom- expecting the clothes to be strewn everywhere per usual. But, when I opened to the door, to my surprise, there was not a single article of clothing on the floor! I couldn't believe it- my little fashionista had cleaned up after herself all on her own! I was so proud.

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Until I saw THIS:

I immediately started laughing and had to run and get the camera. She "cleaned up" by putting all of her clothes on top of her bed. Very creative, I must say, but I guess she hasn't heard the real secret is to put everything UNDER your bed to hide the mess from Mommy! Of course, how could I ever be upset with that precious face? (OK, it happens) After this we came up with a game where she would throw me her clothes from the bed and I would put them away before Claire could get to them and make a mess of them. It worked out pretty well for Audra, I must admit!

Later today Audra dressed up and I just loved this look and had to take a picture.

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Now, here is a question for all of you nurses/medical people out there. I have Audra's 3-yr-appt. on Tuesday, so I am not overly concerned about taking her in for this, but this morning she woke up with this on her arm:

It looks like a bruise in the picture, but it is definitely not. It is a big red, round ring with normal looking skin in the middle. When I first saw it this morning I thought it looked like a mosquito bite which she had scratched to make it red. The middle was yellow and sticking up. Now it doesn't look like a bite, it is just this weird red circle. Any ideas?

11 Months

Claire just wanted to play with her sign, so Audra decided to help her out. What a good big sister!

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So here is a snapshot of Claire at 11 months:

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Weight: 17.2 lbs with a diaper and onesie- YES- she is finally gaining weight!

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Eating: She hasn't started on a ton of new foods this month- mostly because we have been focusing on helping her not be constipated. She has been introduced to green beans, wheat germ, and flaxseed. We have been giving her Happy Bellies Oatmeal. She was given a fishie cracker by a friend and she of course loved that. And, yesterday she popped an Easter Whopper in her mouth (can we say choking hazard?!?) and I ran over to get it out, and she was not too happy about it needing to be taken out. I can't blame her- they are yummy. Flaxseed seems to be the best thing for her constipation. She has not been nearly as constipated as she was a month ago, and we are very grateful for that.

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Nursing: This past month she has really cut down on her nursings. Now she only nurses 3-4 times a day. I have not supplemented with formula (yet) because she has also completely refused to take a bottle (another reason for her constipation). But within the last 2 weeks she has finally started drinking a couple of ounces of water a day from a bottle. It's not great, but it is a start.

Mostly I am bummed about her not nursing as much because my milk supply has greatly dropped. This bothers me because I can no longer pump any milk for the milk bank. I had committed to donating 150 oz. and I will be about 40 oz. short. I know there is nothing I can do about that, and they are incredibly understanding and they say repeatedly that it is most important I feed my baby first, and then pump what is left, but I HATE not fulfilling my committment. If you commit to something, you should follow through! But, I console myself by saying that IF we have another baby (a BIG IF!!!) then I will pump from the beginning and be able to donate like 300 oz. I think that's a good compromise:)

Anyway, back to Claire.

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Walking: I guess Monday was her first official "step"- but that's all it was- she took one step and then fell down. Yesterday she took 2 steps and fell. She definitely wants to walk, which is a step in and of itself as she hasn't shown much interest in that until now. While I am not encouraging this, Ben is going against me and encouraging her. Oh, well.

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Communication: She really isn't going anywhere on the talking front. Honestly, since she said, "mama" last month, I haven't heard her say anything outside of baby talk since. However- she most definitely communicates! She is very good at pointing to what she wants. And, if she doesn't like what you give her, she throws it on the floor. I realize this is not a difficult sign to understand, but Audra would throw things on the floor because she thought it was funny. Claire does it to communicate to us she doesn't want it.

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Playing: She is really great now at independent play. She loves taking things OUT (but not putting them back in. Oh, well). Her favorite thing in the whole world is the dishwasher. Pretty much I have to do the dishes while she is sleeping or Claire is trying to pull knives out of the silverware holder. Honestly, she might be playing in the living room, and we quietly open the dishwasher, and within 3 seconds she has raced over to the dishwasher as fast as she can crawl (which is fast) and is pulling things out. She also likes to eat shoes.

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Sleep: Thanks to the blackout blinds, she is sleeping AND napping great. She typically wakes up around 6:20, comes in and nurses, and then I put her down and she plays by herself until Ben wakes up (he is such a good husband- he always takes both girls so I can sleep in- I love that man!!!!). She takes 2-2 hour naps, one at 9 and one at 1. Then she goes to bed at 7:30. She is still the easiest thing in the world to put to sleep- I just put her in her crib and walk out the door.

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Stairs: She loves stairs. We put the ironing board at the bottom of our stairs to keep her from climbing up, but she loves to climb whenever we let her.

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Personality: She is getting a little more expressive. She is also finally letting other people hold her while I go do something without crying. She seems to be kind-of shy, and in general is a very happy little girl. She LOVES Audra, and she is definitely very well loved in return!

What I Do When There Isn't A Fire

Believe it or not, I don't brood about fires or pre-schools all the time...

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Most of my days are filled with Park Days, trying unsuccessfully to keep the house clean, grocery shopping, cooking, dishes, dishes, dishes, being a mom, and enjoying quality time with Ben and the girls.

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And we have had some fun the past few days!

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Here is Claire doing what she does best: Looking Cute

Look for an update on her later today (hopefully) as she is 11 months old today!

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Here is what I have been up to:

To his dismay, Ben has learned to never know what to expect in his house when he gets home from work. He HATES my projects, which I admit seem never-ending even to me at this point. But, I had the opportunity to borrow a quilting frame, and I have had this quilt ready to be tied for over 3 years. (I bought the fabric for the back side the day before Audra was born). So, I set the frame up (it took me two hours) and got to work. It took me two days, now I just have to sew the edges. It is a t-shirt of shirts I obtained while working at Chatfield (I purposely left out my Bear Creek shirts, because I want to forget everything I can about my year in purgatory when I worked for the Spawn of Satan).

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I will admit, quilting brought back memories from when I was a little girl. Both of my grandmother's quilt(ed) and gave me a quilt they each made. My Grandma Clark would set the frame up at my parents house when she came to visit and hand sew each of us girls a quilt. I remember having the quilt set up and sitting underneath it and pulling the needle through. Ahh, the memories of quilting!

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But I also have to admit, the memories are better than the work I just put in to get this quilt tied by myself! The person who was supposed to help bailed, leaving me to do it all by myself! Not a fun task, my friends, not a fun task!

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We have gone to the park A LOT:

And, last Saturday we went to Heritage Square:



















Audra had a blast going on all the rides (but FYI, get the bracelet- you only have to buy one because parents get to ride free, so it's a way better deal than getting the tickets- I wish we had known that before we bought the tickets).
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This ride, though, made me SO nauseous!!! I often get sick on amusement park rides, but I thought- "it's a kiddy ride, I'll be fine." I almost barfed right there on the ride. And it didn't help that as I am about to puke, Audra looks up at me and says-as sweetly as sweet can be- "This ride is fun!" Blasted balloon ride!

















This is what Claire did:


















For being so cute, I admit she doesn't look so cute in this picture. But, you can see her top tooth, and her other one coming in!
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So, this is what we have really been up to. But we don't get nearly as many comments on these posts than the other ones:)

But For The Grace of God

Today I got what must be the 2nd scariest phone call anybody can ever receive: "A house on your street is engulfed in flames. I don't think it's yours- but you better get home."
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I was at the park baby-sitting about 10 minutes from the house.
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The worst 10 minutes of my life.
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Literally falling apart, crying uncontrollably, I raced home and pulled onto our street- stopped by 2 police cars blocking the street. I looked at my house.
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Six fire trucks and seven ambulances parked in front of MY house.

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I can't explain the emotions that went through me as I completely broke down, jumped out of my car, and ran down the street as fast as I could to see if it was, indeed, my house on fire. I was on the phone with Ben- he, helpless, unable to do anything because he was too far from home. Finally I gasped and cried into the phone,

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"It's not our house. It's not our house!"

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Instantly, a huge cry of relief swept over me as I realized everything was parked so close to our house because our house has the fire hydrant in front of it. The house across the street and three doors down is the one that was destroyed. Absolutely destroyed.

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I realized as I was crying a huge cry of relief, somebody else would not have that luxury. Somebody else would franctically drive home- hoping their life was not destroyed- and not have the cry of relief that it wasn't them. For somebody else, their life was going to be ruined. As I had thought only moments before mine was.

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I got into my car and wept for them. Wept for the family that was not as lucky as mine. The one who didn't escape the horror of having their house burned down.

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I have thought about the 10 minutes of Hell that I went through- when I thought my house might be burned down. As I was driving home every thought in the world went through my mind.

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We have insurance.

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What would have started a fire?

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I never turned the oven on. I never turned the oven on. It wasn't the oven.

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My girls are OK.

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I'm OK.

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I have the gospel of Jesus Christ.

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I have the gospel of Jesus Christ.

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That's what matters.

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I thought about the phrase, "But for the grace of God." I have heard that several times, and I was tempted to say that today.

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But for the grace of god it wasn't my house that burned down.

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But for the grace of god it wasn't my husband who got laid off.

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But for the grace of god it wasn't me who got cancer.

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I decided I don't like that phrase.

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If you say "but for the grace of God" then you are also saying that if something bad happens to you it must be because God wasn't showing you grace. And I don't buy that.

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Ever.

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I believe when the house burns down, when the husband gets laid off, when the cancer comes- God shows us MORE grace- not less.

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When trials come- the Lord is by our side. I know that. I have felt that.

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When I thought my house may have burned down today, my mind raced about the horrors that would mean.

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But I also thought of Christ.

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And how He is always there.

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Always.

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Even when it doesn't seem like it.

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Especially when it doesn't seem like it.

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I pray I will remember that when it is my turn to lose everything.

Preschool?

When I first moved here, a mom told me, "You HAVE to get Audra on St. Luke's waiting list- it is the best preschool- the only place you want to send your kid too!"
Quite literally I thought, "Do you honestly I think I care about sending my child to the most prestigious preschool? I mean, seriously, it's PRESCHOOL for Heaven's sake!"
Needless to say, I did not get her on the list and she is not enrolled at St. Luke's.
But, the last few months have been interesting as I have processed whether or not to send Audra to preschool. She has two years left until kindergarten, so she does not need to go to preschool this fall, she can definitely wait another year. But, she CAN go to preschool this fall if I so choose.

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Surprisingly, this has been a difficult decision for me.

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I thought for sure I would be the most anxious mom in the world to put Audra is preschool- FREEDOM!!! The ability to go to the grocery store with only ONE kid!! How could I not want that?
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So I started weighing the options. There are many. I started adding the costs. There are lots. I talked to people. For every mom I talked to, there was a different opinion. I knew one thing was sure:

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I was going to have to decide this on my own.

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So I researched and thought it out more. And, my decision is...

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No preschool next year.

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But not because of the money- though that was a factor. Not because I couldn't find a preschool I liked- on the contrary, I found the perfect one for her when she goes next year- a great one run at the home of somebody at church who has been doing preschool for 20 years. So, no, that is not the reason I chose to not put her in preschool. It is partly because I want her to be able to take classes like ballet and art and tumbling at the local rec center. But mostly it is because:

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I am not ready to let my baby go.

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Every mother goes through this at some point- daycare, preschool, kindergarten, college- I know this is something we all must deal with. But I am surprised- even hearing how hard it is for other mothers- at how powerful the urge was to not let go.

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She's my baby.

I don't want somebody else teaching her.

What if she gets hurt or made fun of?

What if she doesn't make friends?

I want more time with her!

I want more time with her!

I want more time with her!

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These thoughts are a powerful force I did not expect. I know it is only preschool- but that doesn't matter. After preschool comes kindergarten, then all-day school, then high school, college, marriage- gradually, I lose my little princess. Right now I have her to myself all day every day. But when preschool starts, I begin the process of losing her. I'm not ready for that!

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And then, the unthinkable thought occurred to me.

Am I a....

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Helicopter Parent?!?!?

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This is the most loathed and feared creature in the teaching community! I have seen what helicopter parents do- they never let their kids make decisions, they call teachers 3 times a day, their kid is never allowed to make a mistake or make a grade lower than a 99% even when they didn't earn it! They call professors in college and even go on job interviews with their kids. And worst of all....

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They become PTA presidents!

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NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!

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I am on a course toward disaster, but I don't care.

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I want one more year.

One more year where it's just me, Audra, and Claire.

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One more year where I am her teacher.

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One more year where I get to take her to the park everyday if I want to.

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One more year where she can still be my baby.

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Just one.

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So we will wait one more year.

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And I will keep my baby.