"I have always considered marriage as the most interesting event of one's life,
the foundation of happiness or misery."
On Friday Ben and I celebrate 5 years of marriage. I will be at my brother's wedding with Claire, and without Ben, so I thought I would post about it now.
Last year I posted about our fantastic wedding day. Today I thought I would talk about our marriage. After all, in reality, who cares about the wedding day after the wedding? It is the marriage that is important.
I love the above quote by Washington because I have found it to be so true, and unfortuntaely know too many people who think marriage is going to be great and wonderful, but who end up miserable. There is a really annoying attorney commercial here that says, "Life is about choices." As I go into philosophical mode here, I agree wholeheartedly with that statement. Life is also about the consequences of those choices- and ultimately, we are the ones who have to live with our choices and those consequences.
When it comes to marriage, after studying our Church doctrine and beliefs, I have come to the conclusion that fate does not exist. I believe we choose our partner- it wasn't fate that brought us together (I actually think that is much more romantic- I love saying, "I chose you Ben, because I wanted you, not because of some cosmos that told me I had to marry you).
I also believe there are varying degrees of happiness. I am sure there are many men I could have married and been "happy" and many men I could have married and been miserable. I think going into marriage we are hoping that this choice makes us the happiest of all the other options! For some people, of course, they go into marriage thinking they are going to be happy and then everything falls apart and they end up miserable- just like Washington said. Sometimes there are warning signs before hand, sometimes there are not.
Anyway, as a result of my marriage choice, I can honestly say that I am the happiest person in the world! Every day I thank the Lord that I was able to marry Ben. I always thought I would have to settle to get married. I was 26 when I got married, which in our church is ancient (isn't that rediculous?), and I wasn't sure I would ever get married. BOY AM I GLAD I WAITED!!!!! Ben makes me so incredibly happy, and we have built such a fantastic life together. Never in a million years would I have thought I could be this happy.
Of course, some people are not so lucky. I remember being married after about 3 months and thinking to myself, "marriage is the greatest thing in the whole world! But, if you married the wrong person, this would be Hell!" I mean, you are with that person ALL THE TIME- for better or for worse. You know every little detail about each other. You know how to push each other's buttons. You know what makes the other person laugh. For better or worse, you're all you've got when the trials and the joys come.
Now, after 5 years, I look back at the choice I made and thank my lucky starts that I chose Ben, and he was willing to choose me. (I was being sarcastic in the title of my post- but really, it does seem like we have been together forever because it is hard to remember a time when Ben wasn't my everything!) He is my perfect match, and I love him more then all the chocolate and ice-cream in the world combined! Without a doubt, he is the best thing that ever happened to me, and while I am sure I could have married others, my life would have been miserable with them as compared to the pure joy I have being married to Ben! Thank goodness I didn't get married just to get married, and I waited for the person who truly completes me!
I love you, Ben!!!