The next time, with the next time-out attempt, I decided the time-out area was not going to work. I decided to have a "naughty room" instead. This actually seems to be working, thank goodness, but there is one problem: the "naughty room" is really Claire's room. Good thing Claire is still in our room, but what happens when Claire needs her room back? I guess, like most things involving raising children, I will take it one day at a time.
Anyway, back to being frustrated with Audra. She is having problems- like all 2 year olds- listening. I know she knows exactly what I am saying, and she will give me this look that obviously says, "I'm going to do it anyway- what are you going to do about it?" and then does whatever she was not supposed to do. I hate the disciplining part of parenting- I hate feeling out of control and unsure of what to do. It has been so difficult.
But then, on the other hand, how can I not love this:
And this:
Her absolutely fun and eccentric personality that now requires her to wear a dress to bed at night, the way she says, "help, please, mama", begs me to let her hold Claire, and gets strawberry juice all over her face- I love her so much, and I know I really will miss these times- no matter how frustrating they are right now. We were watching some video of her last night (Audra's favorite thing to do- look at pictures of herself) from last Christmas, and I was reminded again that she really is growing up so fast, and I am grateful for this time I have with her- even if I need to give myself a time-out to cry every now and again.
For a while with both of our kids, time-out for them was sitting on our laps while we held them still. Now we use the stairs, and they are good at staying there, but it took years. It has to be a place where they can't play, and at Audra's age, it may have to be something that she can't walk away from. But that isn't always practical or easy either.
ReplyDeleteOh! Sometimes mommies need time-outs too! I can really really identify with this. Penny (and Max, really) are so frustrating sometimes! And they play off each other and the volume level becomes unbearable! Agh! You know - the first time we did the naughty spot with Max it took 45 min - 1 hour of constantly putting him back on. We had a placemat that I would set him on and if he was touching the placemat it was ok. For Penny (yes we've started already because she can be a little monster and we've had a biting problem already), it only took 30 min or so. But, now it works. Mostly, I like to start counting - and if I get to 3, they know something bad happens (not really bad, I just talk very sternly and put them on the naughty spot!). I feel for you though. Really! Not a fun age!
ReplyDeleteI have those time-out cries all the time. It's the only way to vent my frustration, since I can't scream at and/or throw Jonas. Good luck with Audra. It's hard, I know.
ReplyDeleteI totally understand your frustration! Discipline is hard to figure out, and you just hope that what you are doing is teaching them something. Josh has been trying my patience more than usual lately, too. I always thought it was the pregnancy that was sapping my patience, but his lack of listening is also a major contributing factor. A time-out stool has been working so far. There was one evening when he WOULD NOT stay in time-out, and after over an hour of putting him back on the stool, we finally sent him to bed, and he missed his dinner. I felt terrible about it, but now he stays in time-out pretty well.
ReplyDeleteI tell ya, these kids and their learning to think for themselves and be independent. Frustrating for parents, but hang in there. You are definitely not alone!
I think discipline is a lot harder for us than it was for our parents. Spanking is a total NO to most everyone--even though most everyone was spanked as a child. It used to be OK and normal. But, time out is a great tool for when they are smaller. Still, we've learned with Tessa, that if it isn't working, try something else. The best first thing to try is prayer. Good job, mom! Who better knows Audra than her creator? Listen for His advice, and remember that He is also teaching you something important during these trying times. I think you are doing a great job as a mommy. Audra and Claire are blessed to be growing up with such loving parents.
ReplyDeleteEvery kid is different. With Nathan, I find I have to be both hands on and in his face at his level. I usually have to physically remove him from whatever he is doing wrong and distract him since no usually doesn't work. I also resort to what we refer to as the vulcan death grip, where i sharply grab him and say no. That usually shocks him into attention. We've never tried time out. I just have a feeling it would irritate me more than help him. Thankfully he's pretty good so far and doesn't require much discipline. :) good luck, I'm sure you're doing a good job.
ReplyDeleteI'm so glad you posted this! It's exactly what I've been dealing with with Logan. It's so frustrating and hard. I give myself time outs all the time nowadays. It's all I can do to stay semi-sane until Sam comes home from work. Good luck!
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